Today was a day I never want to experience again, but it was something I wouldn’t have missed for the world.
My cousin, Matthew G. Kelley, 30, was laid to rest today, February 7, 2009. He was one of the four pilots whose helicopters crashed in Iraq on January 26. Matthew was a Chief Warrant Officer in the United States Army and gave his life so that the parishioners of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church were afforded the “right” to protest his funeral. It is ironic they would choose to protest a soldier’s funeral, the very military that fights to give them the right to vomit their hatred on grieving families.
It isn’t God’s hatred as they’d like you to believe. You see, the God I know doesn’t “hate fags”. He might, I say MIGHT, hate homosexuality, but God does not hate any of his children, no matter what they might do. I can’t imagine that he doesn’t hate the protesters from Topeka, but he doesn’t.
Today, the mourners saw no hint of a protester, thanks to the Patriot Guard Riders. We arrived 90 minutes before the service began and they were there in full force, so many bikes and men and women that the streets all around the vicinity of the church were packed. Protesters were unseen and unheard as Matthew’s life and service to this country were celebrated.
Matthew’s six year old daughter picked flowers from around the casket before the service started. Then, after the service began, we heard the thunder of the PGR’s engines, shielding us from the shouts of the protesters from the west.
Matthew’s young widow was presented many awards in honor of her husband, with grace and composure she accepted them. All the way from Iraq, Matthew’s friend and roommate through military training came to speak, his voice shaking. He spoke about Matthew always being there to support him no matter what. Now he will go right back to Iraq, hopefully to return in a year to wed his fiancée.
No matter what your religious affiliation, political beliefs or race, our military protects your choice, whether your choice is hurtful and does no good to anyone, except your pocketbooks, all in the name of God – or to help and nurture your fellow human beings as God intended.
There are many things to be said about today’s events, but nothing breaks one’s heart like seeing a 6-year-old realizing that her daddy isn’t coming back, crying on the front row before his casket. Or watching a grandmother sobbing in the seat in front of you, or the retired military father get up and speak with such a peace about him you just can’t understand.
The most touching part of this entire day happened after the funeral service ended and we filed outside to enter our cars for the procession. We drove out of the church’s parking lot to meet THOUSANDS of supporters – an estimated 5,000 men, women and children in this relatively small town. Not just beside the church – for SEVEN miles, the roads through town and the highway were filled with people, hands over their hearts, waving flags. There were even people in their front yards on the 3 miles of gravel road to the cemetery, waving their flags, saluting, many whose faces showed utter grief and tears as we drove past.
The final goodbye at the cemetery brought out many emotions. The finality began to sink in. The traditional American flag was folded and “kissed” to Matthew’s casket, then given to the lovely young widow; the soldier’s mother and each of his two children also received an American flag to keep in remembrance. The 4 year old son held his flag tightly, although it is unlikely he really understood what this day meant.
I don’t agree with this war, but it is happening no matter what I think, and the outpouring of support today was almost unfathomable. We Americans may have a lot of problems, but we sure got today right.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Where do rights begin and end?
These days it seems everyone worries about their freedom and their rights.
Take, for example, smoking vs. non-smoking in public. A non-smoking section in a restaurant doesn’t help those of us who are bothered by breathing in and smelling cigarette smoke. Smoke wafts throughout the building or room. Where there is smoke, I’ll have to breathe it, “non-smoking section” or no. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
I know, people who smoke have rights. However, do those rights include forcing me and other non-smokers to breathe in their cigarette’s carcinogen-filled smoke? Non-smokers have rights also, and choose a smoke-free way of life. Even smokers know the dangers of smoking, yet they get upset when those of us who choose not to smoke speak out about our right not to join their habit by breathing their smoke. Is it more important for them to smoke, or me to breathe? Which is really a right? A necessity?
There are people who are health-conscious. Smoke-free places would contribute as much to their good health as eating all the right foods and exercising. I know a gal who claims to be a health nut, eating healthy foods, drinking lots of water and always concerned about her health and weight. Then, she goes outside to smoke. I’d be more worried what the tar and smoke are doing to my lungs and throat than eating a cheeseburger and fries.
My sweet, non-smoking grandmother used to say, “If I only had all the money your (deceased) grandpa spent on cigarettes over the last 40 years…” She lamented over the clean spots where pictures hung on the wall, the rest of the wall dirtied by his smoke.
We were in a public auditorium recently where I was happily surprised to see “no smoking” signs posted very prominently. Also posted were signs directing smokers where smoking was permitted.
Inside the auditorium, two teenage boys sat in front of us. One of them took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. I thought he was going to light up, but to my surprise, he asked the usher if smoking was allowed. She told him it was not and he thanked her. I told my husband how nice it was to see that he asked. My husband, cynic that he can be, informed me he was only asking so he’d know whether or not to hide it. Lo and behold, within 10 minutes, he lit up, his smoke rising directly into my face. I blew it back towards him, but he didn’t notice. I fanned my hand through the smoke to redirect it, to no avail. With that, I leaned up and asked the curly-haired teen if he’d mind not smoking please — and thank you. He turned around to look at me and put it out without a word.
Soon, he and his non-smoking buddy relocated. They found other seats, but I suspect were kicked out of them by the ticket holders, so minutes later, they returned. Thankfully, he didn’t smoke again.
I know I’m stepping on some toes here, but I know that I wouldn’t wish my bad habits on others, giving them no choice in the matter. I won’t pick my toes near their table in a restaurant. I can wait until I get outside, in my car or home.
I’ll take this chance to thank the eating establishments (and shopping malls) that have banned smoking. People do have the right to smoke, but people generally go to a restaurant to eat. Yes, EAT. Do they really need to smoke while there? Can they not refrain for 30 minutes? Smoke before you enter, and when you exit.
All a non-smoking section accomplishes is separating people. It doesn’t keep smoke away from people who don’t want to smell/breathe it.
I also want to make clear I don’t dislike smokers. I dislike rude, thoughtless smokers (their actions), just as much as I dislike rude, thoughtless people’s actions in general. I appreciate when someone takes his/her smoking outside, even when the weather is extremely cold or hot.
My husband suffers from asthma, which is aggravated by smoke and other irritants. (I can't even use candles or air fresheners in the car or house). Should he be forced to stop going to restaurants or public places? It makes me feel nauseous, should I just have to stay home? Maybe restaurants should consider the business they lose from people who can’t breathe when there is cigarette smoke. There are places where smoking is prohibited, and those are the places we’ll choose first. I’d like to hear from people who agree with me, just to find out how many of us would patronize a new restaurant if they changed their policy to non-smoking.
I’ve seen people smoking in their cars who fail to use the ashtray I’m sure is built into their car. Why is that? They don’t want the butts to stink up their car’s upholstery? Instead, they flick it out the car window and I hope it doesn’t ignite a drop of gasoline or something as I pass over it. (I know, pretty unlikely, but it could happen).
I feel the same way about my hair and clothes as they feel about their car’s upholstery. I don’t want to smell that way. I don’t want to be in a restaurant or public place and have to go home and take another shower because I smell as if I’ve been smoking. I don’t want others to smell smoke on me, and I hate the smell. It’s frustrating to go somewhere, freshly showered and smelling nice, only to smell like smoke within minutes.
There are other places, such as auctions and outdoor events where we have to put up with it. At the amusement park (a place we visit frequently and where we would consider discontinuing our practice of spending $500-plus per year on passes for the family), people smoke in the lines to the rides, even though smoking in the lines is prohibited. It’s a family place. Where is the enforcement? I think I need to just stop being intimidated and ask people to put out their cigarettes, or go to the management. Does our non-smoking offend them or cause them any discomfort? Does it affect their health in a negative way?
Let’s make a deal: I won’t pick my toes in front of you and you won’t smoke in front of me.
One last thing, while I’m airing things…what’s up with people of the male persuasion who leave the "turlet" seat up?
Take, for example, smoking vs. non-smoking in public. A non-smoking section in a restaurant doesn’t help those of us who are bothered by breathing in and smelling cigarette smoke. Smoke wafts throughout the building or room. Where there is smoke, I’ll have to breathe it, “non-smoking section” or no. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
I know, people who smoke have rights. However, do those rights include forcing me and other non-smokers to breathe in their cigarette’s carcinogen-filled smoke? Non-smokers have rights also, and choose a smoke-free way of life. Even smokers know the dangers of smoking, yet they get upset when those of us who choose not to smoke speak out about our right not to join their habit by breathing their smoke. Is it more important for them to smoke, or me to breathe? Which is really a right? A necessity?
There are people who are health-conscious. Smoke-free places would contribute as much to their good health as eating all the right foods and exercising. I know a gal who claims to be a health nut, eating healthy foods, drinking lots of water and always concerned about her health and weight. Then, she goes outside to smoke. I’d be more worried what the tar and smoke are doing to my lungs and throat than eating a cheeseburger and fries.
My sweet, non-smoking grandmother used to say, “If I only had all the money your (deceased) grandpa spent on cigarettes over the last 40 years…” She lamented over the clean spots where pictures hung on the wall, the rest of the wall dirtied by his smoke.
We were in a public auditorium recently where I was happily surprised to see “no smoking” signs posted very prominently. Also posted were signs directing smokers where smoking was permitted.
Inside the auditorium, two teenage boys sat in front of us. One of them took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. I thought he was going to light up, but to my surprise, he asked the usher if smoking was allowed. She told him it was not and he thanked her. I told my husband how nice it was to see that he asked. My husband, cynic that he can be, informed me he was only asking so he’d know whether or not to hide it. Lo and behold, within 10 minutes, he lit up, his smoke rising directly into my face. I blew it back towards him, but he didn’t notice. I fanned my hand through the smoke to redirect it, to no avail. With that, I leaned up and asked the curly-haired teen if he’d mind not smoking please — and thank you. He turned around to look at me and put it out without a word.
Soon, he and his non-smoking buddy relocated. They found other seats, but I suspect were kicked out of them by the ticket holders, so minutes later, they returned. Thankfully, he didn’t smoke again.
I know I’m stepping on some toes here, but I know that I wouldn’t wish my bad habits on others, giving them no choice in the matter. I won’t pick my toes near their table in a restaurant. I can wait until I get outside, in my car or home.
I’ll take this chance to thank the eating establishments (and shopping malls) that have banned smoking. People do have the right to smoke, but people generally go to a restaurant to eat. Yes, EAT. Do they really need to smoke while there? Can they not refrain for 30 minutes? Smoke before you enter, and when you exit.
All a non-smoking section accomplishes is separating people. It doesn’t keep smoke away from people who don’t want to smell/breathe it.
I also want to make clear I don’t dislike smokers. I dislike rude, thoughtless smokers (their actions), just as much as I dislike rude, thoughtless people’s actions in general. I appreciate when someone takes his/her smoking outside, even when the weather is extremely cold or hot.
My husband suffers from asthma, which is aggravated by smoke and other irritants. (I can't even use candles or air fresheners in the car or house). Should he be forced to stop going to restaurants or public places? It makes me feel nauseous, should I just have to stay home? Maybe restaurants should consider the business they lose from people who can’t breathe when there is cigarette smoke. There are places where smoking is prohibited, and those are the places we’ll choose first. I’d like to hear from people who agree with me, just to find out how many of us would patronize a new restaurant if they changed their policy to non-smoking.
I’ve seen people smoking in their cars who fail to use the ashtray I’m sure is built into their car. Why is that? They don’t want the butts to stink up their car’s upholstery? Instead, they flick it out the car window and I hope it doesn’t ignite a drop of gasoline or something as I pass over it. (I know, pretty unlikely, but it could happen).
I feel the same way about my hair and clothes as they feel about their car’s upholstery. I don’t want to smell that way. I don’t want to be in a restaurant or public place and have to go home and take another shower because I smell as if I’ve been smoking. I don’t want others to smell smoke on me, and I hate the smell. It’s frustrating to go somewhere, freshly showered and smelling nice, only to smell like smoke within minutes.
There are other places, such as auctions and outdoor events where we have to put up with it. At the amusement park (a place we visit frequently and where we would consider discontinuing our practice of spending $500-plus per year on passes for the family), people smoke in the lines to the rides, even though smoking in the lines is prohibited. It’s a family place. Where is the enforcement? I think I need to just stop being intimidated and ask people to put out their cigarettes, or go to the management. Does our non-smoking offend them or cause them any discomfort? Does it affect their health in a negative way?
Let’s make a deal: I won’t pick my toes in front of you and you won’t smoke in front of me.
One last thing, while I’m airing things…what’s up with people of the male persuasion who leave the "turlet" seat up?
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Priorities Change from Kid to Kid
It's amazing what kids call a priority. My kids started school after Labor Day. I talked to them all on the phone at the end of the first day and they all had a different perception of how the day went.
My youngest, a fifth grader at the time, when asked how her day was, replied, "I LIKE my teacher" with a puppy love sound in her voice. She volunteered to be the teacher's helper before school each day. This school year promises to be a good one for her.
My oldest, a sophomore boy, said, "I have a class with 31 girls and no boys." He almost sounded like that was a bad thing. I asked which class that was and he told me it was a childhood development and parenting class. He wondered why there were no boys, saying, "I guess boys aren't parents?" That's a good question. I imagine the reason is boys aren't dreaming about marriage and having children at this point, while the young ladies are dreaming of their walk down the aisle and having a family.
My freshmen daughter lamented, "There are no hot guys in any of my classes!" I reminded her she doesn't need any, she has a steady. "Moooooom!" was all she could wail. Apparently, I just don't get it.
Anyway, she's got to keep up her studies if she's to be the valedictorian of her class some day. She has always made excellent grades, but is afraid she will be unable to keep them up in high school. (She ended up being fourth in her class of over 250).
Wait a minute, hot guys? Is that how they describe what we used to call a fox? We didn't say, "Oo, he's so hot." We said, "He's such a fox" or "He's so good looking" or "He's so cute!"
If I had been lucky enough to have a steady when I was that age, I would have been ecstatic. I wouldn't have been worrying about anyone else if I had a nice boy to blabber on the phone and go to school ball games with. Kids today expect so much. They perceive that parents somehow owe them all the comforts and luxuries they have.
For example, schools are often let out due to the heat. When I went to school, we didn't have air conditioning, but we stayed in school and ran fans. My kids have an air-conditioned house to go to after school but don't realize it's a luxury--one that some cannot afford.
Their TVs, stereos and telephone privileges are taken for granted. We "owe" them those things. There's too much "keeping up with the Joneses" in our society. We're mean if we give them rules and telephone limits. I so wish to have a halfway clean house, but it seems to be pretty taxing for them to carry a dish to the sink from their room or the living room. And boy, they really do live in that room.
My desire is for them to realize what they have. They have loving parents, an air-conditioned house in summer, pets they love, siblings they hate, they are allowed freedom to go with their friends, they have looks, intelligence and wonderful senses of humor--the list could go on and on. My freshman daughter even had a job working in a daycare all summer, affording her the luxury of spending all her waking hours at the mall, doing her part to keep a strong, healthy local economy.
They don't even have to walk to school like I did, 10 miles, in the snow, uphill…both ways. That might be a slight exaggeration--I had to walk to school in rain, sleet or snow just like the U.S. Postal Service, but it was only about eight blocks and no real hills. My kids rarely have to walk to school.
I continue to try, although I sometimes fall short, to teach the kids what matters. Love, giving, unselfishness, forgiveness, a good work ethic--all those things, among many others, will get them far in life.
My youngest, a fifth grader at the time, when asked how her day was, replied, "I LIKE my teacher" with a puppy love sound in her voice. She volunteered to be the teacher's helper before school each day. This school year promises to be a good one for her.
My oldest, a sophomore boy, said, "I have a class with 31 girls and no boys." He almost sounded like that was a bad thing. I asked which class that was and he told me it was a childhood development and parenting class. He wondered why there were no boys, saying, "I guess boys aren't parents?" That's a good question. I imagine the reason is boys aren't dreaming about marriage and having children at this point, while the young ladies are dreaming of their walk down the aisle and having a family.
My freshmen daughter lamented, "There are no hot guys in any of my classes!" I reminded her she doesn't need any, she has a steady. "Moooooom!" was all she could wail. Apparently, I just don't get it.
Anyway, she's got to keep up her studies if she's to be the valedictorian of her class some day. She has always made excellent grades, but is afraid she will be unable to keep them up in high school. (She ended up being fourth in her class of over 250).
Wait a minute, hot guys? Is that how they describe what we used to call a fox? We didn't say, "Oo, he's so hot." We said, "He's such a fox" or "He's so good looking" or "He's so cute!"
If I had been lucky enough to have a steady when I was that age, I would have been ecstatic. I wouldn't have been worrying about anyone else if I had a nice boy to blabber on the phone and go to school ball games with. Kids today expect so much. They perceive that parents somehow owe them all the comforts and luxuries they have.
For example, schools are often let out due to the heat. When I went to school, we didn't have air conditioning, but we stayed in school and ran fans. My kids have an air-conditioned house to go to after school but don't realize it's a luxury--one that some cannot afford.
Their TVs, stereos and telephone privileges are taken for granted. We "owe" them those things. There's too much "keeping up with the Joneses" in our society. We're mean if we give them rules and telephone limits. I so wish to have a halfway clean house, but it seems to be pretty taxing for them to carry a dish to the sink from their room or the living room. And boy, they really do live in that room.
My desire is for them to realize what they have. They have loving parents, an air-conditioned house in summer, pets they love, siblings they hate, they are allowed freedom to go with their friends, they have looks, intelligence and wonderful senses of humor--the list could go on and on. My freshman daughter even had a job working in a daycare all summer, affording her the luxury of spending all her waking hours at the mall, doing her part to keep a strong, healthy local economy.
They don't even have to walk to school like I did, 10 miles, in the snow, uphill…both ways. That might be a slight exaggeration--I had to walk to school in rain, sleet or snow just like the U.S. Postal Service, but it was only about eight blocks and no real hills. My kids rarely have to walk to school.
I continue to try, although I sometimes fall short, to teach the kids what matters. Love, giving, unselfishness, forgiveness, a good work ethic--all those things, among many others, will get them far in life.
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